


Xander Goes to McDonald's and Cries

by tittymeister



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Other, i love modern aus and i love death, marx goes to mcdonalds and cries.jpg, tfw marx loses the map and has never had fast food before, uh i think thats about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6682030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tittymeister/pseuds/tittymeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hi guys i only worked on this while literally half asleep</p>
            </blockquote>





	Xander Goes to McDonald's and Cries

"...What time was it when we last ate? It feels like it's been hours."

  
"Probably because it has been. We should have been back at your place by 8."

 

"Look, Niles, I said I was-"

  
"There's a McDonald's up at this next rest stop. That work for you?"

  
Xander cleared his throat. He didn't have any problems with Niles, but he had to admit he didn't understand him at all; ever since Camilla had introduced her new best friend to the family, things had been tense between the two. He wasn't sure what it was about the guy, he just... didn't get him. They had been on the road for around 6 hours, and conversation between the two wasn't getting any less awkward since Leo had fallen asleep in the backseat, mediocre rock music still audible from his headphones.

 

"I've never been to a McDonald's." Xander said, adding the confused look Niles gave him to the list of things he didn't understand about the man.

 

"Are you serious?" Niles asked, pulling into the parking lot. Xander shifted uncomfortably as Niles pulled the parking brake and leaned back in the seat. "Father always said it was bad for us." he shrugged.

 

Niles was giving him that confused look again. "Yeah, he's one to talk about what is and isn't good for you. C'mon, they're open all night. I promise you won't die or anything."

 

Niles tossed a crumpled receipt at Leo to make sure he was still asleep before climbing out of the car and stretching. Xander followed suit, only to be hit by the cold night air and the sudden regret of wearing only khaki shorts and a polo shirt for most of the trip. He hurried inside after Niles- who hadn't bothered to hold the door for him - and stood by him in front of the counter. He rested his hand on the railing where the line was meant to form in an attempt to look more casual. It was a failed attempt, as he cringed away from it immediately after realizing how filthy the railing probably was. So much for acting natural.

 

Niles glanced up from his phone at Xander. "You're paying for yourself, right?" Xander felt his pockets for his wallet and realized he'd left it in the car. Apparently the nervousness that had risen in his gut had shown on his face, and Niles rolled his eye and pulled out his own wallet. He mumbled something about how of /course/ he'd be stuck paying for Xander's food, even though Xander was filthy rich. Before Xander could say anything, Niles was already looking at him expectantly, asking him if he knew what he was going to order. In all honesty Xander had been too wrapped up in trying to look as neutral as possible in such a disgusting environment he hadn't even looked at the menu.

  
Niles rolled his eye again. "Whatever. I'm gonna go take a leak so try to decide before I get back, alright?" He was gone before Xander could ask any questions.

  
By the time Niles returned, Xander had only succeeded in somehow looking even more out of place and uncomfortable than he had when they had first arrived. "Thank god you're back. The service here is horrible Niles, I've been standing here for seven minutes and they haven't seated me." Xander frowned as Niles returned to his side.

 

"...Xander, this is a fast food restaurant. You order up front and leave. Have you ever even had fast food before?"

  
"Um... I went through a drive-thru once in high school."

  
"Ooh, what would Garon say?"

  
"I don't want to think about that."

  
Niles just smiled and shook his head, leaning nonchalantly against the same railing that Xander had cringed away from and pulling out his phone. "Just hurry up and order. Leo's probably gonna wake up soon and I don't wanna buy him food too." Xander nodded and went back to focusing hard on the menu.

 

After almost ten minutes of asking Niles and the exhausted cashier about the ingredients and quality of what he might be ordering, he finally decided to just order a Big Mac (although he did consider a salad for a while, only to reject it upon discovering that Niles and the employee didn't know what was in the dressing). Niles shot the cashier an apologetic look as the two finally left, taking their food back to the car where Leo was hopefully still asleep. They ate their food in silence; Leo's phone had died while they were getting food, so there was no longer any noise from the backseat, and Xander got the feeling Niles didn't care enough to make any smart remarks regarding how his food was. The silence wasn't awfully long-lived.

  
"So, Niles... do you know exactly what kind of meat they use? This doesn't quite... taste right."

  
"Fuck if I know, dude." Niles shrugged, already 10 pieces into his 20 piece chicken mcnuggets. "And you eat here often?"

  
"Once I spent like, a solid week living on three jr.burgers a day."

  
"...Why?"

  
Niles shrugged again and continued eating, and Xander decided he'd do his best to stop questioning his food for the time being. Once they were finished, Niles gathered their trash in the brown paper bag it came in and tossed it into the backseat with Leo, who just frowned and shifted slightly as it bounced off of him.

 

It wasn’t until an hour of unproductive conversation and slight queasiness had passed that Xander finally fell asleep, and another two before he woke up in the driveway of his home, alone in the car, because apparently Niles and Leo had neglected to wake him up upon arrival. Knowing that Niles had probably already told Camilla and Elise about the McDonald’s adventure, Xander closed his eyes and sighed, deciding to take another nap before going inside to face whatever jokes were in store.


End file.
